Entry: Biggest fear I found after a long midnight talk: January 30, 2007



  • If you got married before I do, then I have two options only, which is to come and literally die to see you starting a new life that does not involve me at all selfish as I am as many times I claimed I don't love you and I made sure they're true, or to stay home and hear about it after a few weeks from friends which would make me feel left out because I'm not there and wondering how beautiful your wife is on your wedding day. Either way, I lose my back up plan. Which is to get married if we both still haven't found the right one by the time we're 30. Which is not important at all cause either way I lose you. Which made me realize that you're not a back up plan at all cause I'm not suppose to miss a back up this much.. I guess I should just add this to my previous post. Time for a Plan B then.

Listening to: Ron Sexsmith - Gold In Them Hills

but if we only open our eyes we'd see the blessings in disguise, that all the rain clouds are fountains though our troubles seem like mountains, there's gold in them hills, so don't lose heart, give the day a chance to start

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