Free Brain Damage

5 things I hate in church pt. 2 (oh God I'm gonna do this every year after major big events):

Mon, 09 Apr 2007 05:25:11 GMT

Mothers who feed their children inside the church. I know children are moody when they're hungry, but can't you feed them at home? Or bring something as simple as bread. At least bread doesn't have strong smell like fried rice and eggs.
People who forget they parked at a place where other people can't get out unless they get out. And sometime after you got tired of waiting, came a running woman, panicky look, moved her car an inch, and then go back in because she's suppose to be in the committee or something, and you have to struggle hard moving your car backwards and forwards just to get out of the line.
Old men with too tight pants. After a series of sitting, standing, kneeling, the pants might be stuck in between his ass. And being a self diagnosed obsessive compulsive, I can't pray while looking at something as distracting as that. Unless I straightened some things out. But I can't, right. Or I'd be sued for a sexual harassment complaint.
Light weighted rocking chair. Okay, here goes the story. In most churches here, the place where you sit connects with a place where people behind you kneel. So if many people are kneeling at the same time and the chair is light weighted, this may come as the result:

Good Friday. The crucifixion is sung with such boring notes EACH YEAR. Each year. It's a torture for the audience and I pity the singers especially the narrator.

Churches with very few doors. And believe me, in my country it may took 15 minutes just to get out of the building (kecuali di Stefanus yang bentuk gerejanya kaya lapangan). People here walk slower than turtles. What annoys me to my fuckin bone is when sometimes the person in front of me meets someone he knows and say hello-how-are-you not noticing that it's jam packed behind and there's nowhere else to walk unless he moved his ass.

Oh well, at least I can always complain here. Happy Easter everyone!

Listening to: Sia - Where I Belong

shine, youre fine, see I will always have a smile for you my love and still we will be ok and well on the way, well learn it as we go, so dont treat me bad, just be glad I am strong, I know where I belong

Give a read to support freedom of speech:

Fri, 16 Mar 2007 18:36:37 GMT

read here

Apparently having honest (but bad) opinions about other country can give you a suspension until further notice from your job, which in this case: a TV reporter, as in someone who's suppose to report anything as long as it's correct. And when you held back and published your opinions in blogs, your writings can still make an important man angry. I'm nowhere near angry with that man's sayings that most bloggers are liars, and mostly jobless women, because the man claimed to be misquoted alright. I just wish she aired it on TV instead. Just to add a little more suspense and drama. Tee hee. It's just an honest opinion of one person, people. Don't take anything too seriously these days. You'll grow another wrinkle.

The difference between impressive and trying too hard to impress:

Wed, 14 Mar 2007 15:48:50 GMT

Impressive is when you enter a party and everybody notice and take turns to say hello-how-are-you. Trying too hard is when you take turns to say hello-how-are-you to everybody then start to pay special attention to people you think matter the most. Fuckin butt kissers annoy the hell out of me.
Impressive is when you bought someone a present and they remember it even though the next year maybe you forgot their birthday. Trying too hard is when someone gives you a present and you give them something back like food or chocolate in return the very next day.
Impressive is when you offered a drink to guests and after a sip they seriously compliment you, you say thank you. Trying too hard is when the guests compliment, you share the recipe and offer to make them nice roast beef with mashed potatoes for dinner.
Impressive is when you wear long-sleeves when it's cold and guys still turn their heads. Trying too hard is when you insist on wearing halter neck on cold windy and rainy days just for the sake of popping half your boobs out.
Impressive is when you buy fake Gucci wallet and people won't notice. Trying too hard is when you empty your piggy-bank to buy real mink and people pretend to touch your arm while saying hello because they're trying to prove otherwise.
Impressive is when you call someone and they call you right back after they know. Trying too hard is when you call them over and over and over and over and over and over..and yet they're never there.
Impressive is when people refuse to let you be the one behind the camera when it's picture time. Trying too hard is running from the toilet with half your skirt still up because you don't want to miss it.
Impressive is when you ask people for a favor, they happily accept because they like you and not because they feel they have to. Trying too hard is offering to help without being asked.
Impressive is when your car is messy and people who complains ended cleaning it automatically while saying how unorganized you are. Trying too hard to impress is when you clean your, otherwise messy, car before you pick someone (haha I actually write this point just for the sake of saying I'm impressive)
Impressive is when you're quiet during the whole meeting and your boss still notices your attendance. Trying too hard is cutting people in the middle of their talks, and arguing your way through friends that now consider you as a threat just so you look smart and capable.
Impressive is when people don't know you are really the brain behind a great project and yet they still admit you're a great person. Trying too hard is when other people succeeded, you tell everyone you know them and act like they're your best friends (like, in a conversation, you'll hear: Oh yeah, I know her well, she's great. She's a friend of a friend of a relative of my boyfriend's third cousin).
Impressive is when you help people sincerely. Trying too hard is when you make deals to help other people when you know you're not capable of helping and end up asking other people to help you.

..yeah and my world is currently full with the second one..la la la let's just sing: Damien Rice - Cannonball

there still a little bit of your taste in my mouth, there's still a little bit of you laced with my doubt, it's still a little harder to say what's going on, there's still a little bit of your ghost your weakness, there's still a little bit of your face I haven't kissed, you step a little closer each day that I can't see what's going on

Why I keep buying pirated DVDs:

Thu, 01 Mar 2007 15:04:31 GMT

The original ones cost about 180.000 Rupiahs or like US$18. Cheap? You'd think. Here, that equals to:

3 times my sushi lunch bill with best friends
40 liters of gas
my cell phone bill in a month
720 text messages sent
18 months of school fee for those children my mom and her gang sponsored
36 meal sets of rice-saut�ed spinach-fried egg-soy bean cake-chili if you're eating at warteg
18 packs of Marlboro Lights Menthol's band roll price with additional change of 1800 Rupiahs
one airplane ticket Jkt - Singapore with AirAsia
electricity bill for a month when I used to live with friends in a town house
12 times going to the movies
3 hair-spa
36 times shaving your head bald under the tree, plus back massage
half a DVD player (360.000 rupiahs it costs, in case math sickens you)
180 hours straight talking with Esia's CDMA phone
36 Oreo McFlurry I love, not - including extra 10% tax.

Yeap, and who are losing big profit? Hollywood stars and producers with million dollar beach house? I figure it's okay.

The pirated ones cost 6000 rupiahs or US$0.6. Actually it's 5000 in Mangga Dua, except I don't really like going there.
Those pirates (aren't they called pirates, the people who copied DVDs?) tape new season of TV shows like Desperate Housewives 3, Lost 3, Heroes, Ghost Whisperer 2, Gilmore Girls 7 and I'm crazy lunatic for TV series.
Some pirates taped the movies from theater, so every once in a while you'd see someone standing up to go to the loo, coughing, boo-ing when they don't agree with something. It's like you're there really. I don't usually buy this type though.
The fake cover is really fun to read. They look pretty real, images, fonts like the original. But the body copy! Sometimes they just grab random reviews from the net and put it in the front cover, trying to be Roeper & Ebert and all, sometimes all they can find is: Really not amusing. I find it hard to laugh. Two thumbs down.
Try not to read the cover for major TV series. Basically they copy-paste the same text for all season. For example in 24 season 1 after I watched a few episodes and wanted to take a good look at the cast (careful spoiler!), I figure that Nina's the bad guy. They fuckin write the plot of season 2 in the back of season 1. How fun, right
Laughing at the some of my favorite DVDs and thanking God that I'm not a movie star with holes in their body parts, like the whole cast of Seinfeld:

Listening to: Goldfrapp - Train

wolflady sucks my brain, apricot, sunrise came, LA nights just roll in, can't stop oh off the train, train, nasal douche, poolside line, softlit tan, what's your sign, hold my hand, just roll in

Sudden decisions involving current culinary experiences:

Fri, 02 Feb 2007 15:58:24 GMT

Sugar cubes: It's easier to just put it inside your mouth and drink the tea rather than wait for it to solve and have half a cup of unsweetened tea and half a cup of too-sweetened tea.
Chocolate covered coffee beans: never, and I mean never, and trust me when I say never, eat those beans if you already can't sleep before midnight and are addicted to coffee. You'll end up watching TV at 4.30 AM with a dysfunctional brain and fully functional eyes.
Cinnamon sticks: Better than powder cause they don't make your sneezes taste like apple pie. Plus, they have multiple functions to stir as well as to add flavor.
Oreos: Not good for a date. Unless you're dating your best friend. The options are either you end up being told by your date that is trying hard not to laugh that you have bits of Oreos stuck in your teeth, or you end up smiling weirdly trying to cover your teeth and thinking, oh God what if my teeth are black.
Kim chi + cola: I don't know how they do it, but the combination makes me feel like there's a group of ants biting my tongue.
Birthday cakes: I never have the guts to eat those. If it's a child's birthday party, there must be some part in your plate that got too many frostings and taste pure marzipan and no cake. Or there must be some part for you that got melted candles all over, which you eat because you think it's marzipan but turns out it's not. Either way you lose. If it's grown up's birthday party, it's either fine to eat or it's even worse. It's fine when they order plain tiramisu with writings on top. Worst come to worse is you eat a cake with 'ha � irth' or 'pp � thda' on it. Cake that makes me chickened out is the ones that have my friend's face on it, technologically speaking I don't know how the bakery does it but it's like printed pictures, and you'll have to choose paper plates with slices of your friend's left eye, right ear, middle teeth with half lips, nostrils, and people think this face-cake is such a brilliant idea?
Cheese sausages: Don't trust the instructions when they said these yummy sausages can be fried. After a few minutes the cheese started to burst out and it's sausages and cheese strings all over. Not that they taste bad.

Listening to: Death Cab For Cutie - I Will Follow You Into The Dark

love of mine someday you will die but I'll be close behind, I'll follow you into the dark, no blinding light or tunnels to gates of white, just our hands clasped so tight waiting for the hint of a spark

Biggest fear I found after a long midnight talk:

Mon, 29 Jan 2007 20:22:37 GMT

If you got married before I do, then I have two options only, which is to come and literally die to see you starting a new life that does not involve me at all selfish as I am as many times I claimed I don't love you and I made sure they're true, or to stay home and hear about it after a few weeks from friends which would make me feel left out because I'm not there and wondering how beautiful your wife is on your wedding day. Either way, I lose my back up plan. Which is to get married if we both still haven't found the right one by the time we're 30. Which is not important at all cause either way I lose you. Which made me realize that you're not a back up plan at all cause I'm not suppose to miss a back up this much.. I guess I should just add this to my previous post. Time for a Plan B then.

Listening to: Ron Sexsmith - Gold In Them Hills

but if we only open our eyes we'd see the blessings in disguise, that all the rain clouds are fountains though our troubles seem like mountains, there's gold in them hills, so don't lose heart, give the day a chance to start

Things that always made me consider eloping to Vegas with a handsome stranger:

Wed, 10 Jan 2007 16:40:30 GMT

When couples break up, they always said their spouse changed. Well, I know not a thing about this handsome stranger. So that reason of breaking up is not gonna bother me at all.
PDKT's a stupid thing that only teenagers do. It's a phase where you're suppose to get to know the person you're going to ask out for a date and be girlfriends or boyfriends after. Hello? Being in a relationship IS the pre-marriage step to get to know each other. So what's this, a pre-pre-marriage get together? I'd say just go for it. Life's that short.
Getting married to someone you don't know at all is plain romantic. And getting to know that person is quite a challenge you have to face everyday. It'd make married life less boring, instead of a steady long term relationship where you get to predict each movement he's gonna make and know better which side he's gonna be sleeping tonight (which, in a fight, is considered the table side, which means the floor, or the lamp side, which means the sofa).
You have all your life to discover what's his positive and negative points, his everyday's rhythm, does he talks while he sleeps, which razor you should secretly use to shave your legs without him knowing, what's his favorite food, what would he do in a fight, what's his favorite position, what kind of crappy music is he listening to on a Sunday morning, and by the time you finish discovering and started to get sick of it all, it's just time to go die and you'd be appointed to held seminars up there cause you're both the only old married couple died of a heart attack and broken hips because of the back-flip position he insisted trying.
Eloping is a low budget-easy to do-none hard feelings taken-no free food for family you don't really know-no free flow for friends you don't really care.
I heard you get a stack of chips for every time you get married in Vegas.
Disneyland's my daydream-honeymoon favorite place. And it's not that far from Vegas isn't it, considering I live in a faraway continent.
You get to choose what you're gonna wear when saying I do. No heavy make-up and high heels when you're suppose to be standing all night hand-shaking one by one each guest that came and has the courtesy of saying congratulations first before they hit the food-stalls. Once I even consider, if I really have to be on stage all night, I'd wear a rrreaallly big ball-gown like Cinderella, and underneath I'd hide a bar stool so people won't know that I'm actually sitting while I look standing.
I had a dream a few years back about me walking down the aisle to a Learn to Fly performed live by Foo Fighters. I may have the chance to realize it. Well, with the CD at least.

Listening to: Kahimi Karie - Kahimi Karie et Moi

kahimi karie pour elle le jeu n'existe pas, je sais que ce qu'elle ne sait pas, je l'aime bien plus que moi, kahimi karie ca vous le savez mieux que moi elle dit un peu n'importe quoi ca n'est jamais pour moi

Why nipples are overrated:

Fri, 15 Dec 2006 10:06:19 GMT

If showing hands are restricted and they should be covered at all times, a hint of fingernails must be damn hot then. At bars guys would yell 'take off your gloves baby woohoo' and annually beaches would held Wet Gloves Contests.
For guys:
- Too out there combined with tight shirt is plain Will (or Grace?)
- Hair above the nipples with beer belly and it's Bert from Sesame Street (guess which part is the nose).
- Too pink and it's Babe on the run.
For girls:
- Too out there combined with tiny tank tops and guys think you're horny (when it's only hot weather, really).
- Too out there but tried to cover it with bra with no stuffing, cause your breast alone is enough stuffing for a cup, and girls will gossip behind your back saying you don't know how to pick the proper size (it's true, I went to an all-girls high school and I did gossip a little).
- Too out there and didn't try to cover it and suddenly you're a bitch with no girlfriends (with additional gawking boyfriends of those jealous girlfriends).
For moms:
- Too out there and your neighbors would think you don't care about how you look and that's why someday your husband will definitely cheat on you.
- Too in and your baby won't suck it (baby as in 'oh so cute, look at those little fingers', not as in 'oh yeah that's it, look at those not so little fingers').

Listening to: My Bloody Valentine - Sometimes

close my eyes, feel me now, I don't know maybe you could not hurt me now, here alone when I feel down too, over there when I await true love for you, you can hide oh now, the way I do, you can see oh now, oh the way I do

Silly little things that kept me going part 2:

Thu, 23 Nov 2006 18:50:19 GMT

Someone calling to let me know that the bag I've wanted for months is now half price (yay for us!).
Losing balance on the MRT and almost step on a cute guy's foot (no I didn't do it on purpose)
Strolling along the block for dinner and looking at nice apartments wondering what the tenants with their flat-screen TV are doing inside.
Let the wind blew my hair and smell my own shampoo.
Meowing at cats and got a response.
Mr. Bean's soya ice cream (stress reducer with half the fat).
Dressing up in skirts and heels and realizing we were at the wrong kind of seminar we thought it'd be..and giggle about it afterwards.
Sitting in a very cold seminar room listening to a person who has a voice like he just suck helium out of balloons and couldn't help but looking down to hold back laughter.
Eating Burger King and have the sauce smeared across my face and fingers. Double the fun. Triple the fun is someone to wipe it off (patience is the key my child).
Watching a commercial-free movie on TV.
Wireless internet. 54 Mbps definitely beats Jakarta's slow connection.
Chatting with my partner in crime for 2 hours and realizing that most of our talk is this: or Yahoo's :)) which means laughing hard.
Waking up to 5 new messages on the phone (move to another country to boost your social life guys).
Travelling to Paris, or Rome, or Venice every night. With Google Earth of course. Do I really look that rich?
Shuffling I-pod and playing a game in which I sometimes say 'this song represents my mood today' or 'this song is from my husband to be'.
'This song is from you to me' is Chicago's If You Leave Me Now.
Realizing I don't miss you that much after all.
Wondering why my panty-liner didn't stuck on my underwear and realize that I put it upside down. Luckily I never got the chance to pull it up or else.. FREE BIKINI WAXING.

Listening to: The Polyphonic Spree - Light and Day

cause all my feelings are more than I can let be or not more than you've got just follow the day, follow the day and reach for the sun, you don't see me flyin to the red one more you're done, just follow the seasons and find the time, reach for the bright side

Things people did in my car that made me throw them out in the middle of the highway:

Tue, 21 Nov 2006 18:26:39 GMT

Sleeping.
I'm not a cab driver. Try to think of me more like a pilot. If I'm navigating, the one beside me should think as a co-pilot. The others at the back should think of themselves as steward/ess. Not passengers. Not when I'm the one behind the wheel. Unless you want to drive. Then it's my privilege to sleep since it's my car. Hee.
Smoking pot.
Me? I'm fine if you want to do it somewhere else. Definitely not a bitch who nags her boyfriend to quit smoking pot. But hog the bong in my car and trust me, the sound of my yelling at your face can kill the effect of strongest marijuana ever planted.
Talking on a cellphone.
For more than an hour that is. Once again I'm not a cab driver.
Singing.
To a completely different tune to the one I played. A guy I know, with whatever reasons he has which I never figure out, always sing a different song other than the ones on my CDs. For example if I played Smashing Pumpkin's Perfect, then he would sing Ava Adore. While it is still being played. Isn't that annoying, or is it just me?
Putting their legs up.
Follow my rule: either one of your body part has to be on the bottom. So if you want to put your legs up, then your head must be on the carpet.

Listening to: Snow Patrol - Chasing Cars

if I lay here if I just lay here would you lie with me and just forget the world, forget what we're told before we get too old show me a garden that's bursting into life, all that I am all that I ever was is here in your perfect eyes, they're all I can see